Many parents want to educate their children as successful people, and they want to see their children achieve their dreams.
It is no exaggeration to say that education affects children's lives. Children who are not properly trained are more likely to derail or wander. It is good to tell people what they need to do while living, including personality education, since childhood. One of the virtues that must be taught to a child in particular is self-control.
Self-control vs willpower
According to psychology journal Psychology Today, self-control is the ability to anticipate one's impulses for greater prospects, goals, and opportunities. The ability to push or suppress an impulse is called will power. Willpower makes you think, evaluate, and plan your actions before the impulse is manifested.
In other words, self-control is a behavior that restrains from doing the first desire, whereas will power is a simple choice and decision that can be done in a situation that can act voluntarily.
Children who learn self-discipline make good decisions and pursue goals without breaking social rules.
"You have to control your emotions from a childhood."
Parents should first teach children how to control their emotions so they can develop self-control. The following are seven ways your child can control his or her feelings. By following the advice, you can teach your child how to express his / her mood while at the same time having a sense of security without hurting others.
1. Form self-management model
Parents also need time to 'time out'. The child sees and learns parents' behavior. If a parent loses his temper and shows a child screaming, it has an adverse effect on the child's self-control.
So you have to calm down and be calm. In a critical situation, a child who grows up watching his parents cope calmly can control his emotions.
2. Be honest with your feelings
The best way to improve your child's self-control is to talk emotions and seek empathy. Make sure your child understands certain emotions and can identify them. To do this, you can use a simple way of showing your child a picture and naming what the emotions are representing in the picture. This method can help your child to understand the emotions around him and develop empathy for the people around him.
Speaking emotions is also effective in understanding the child's mistakes. If parents have lost self - control in front of their children, they should be able to apologize for it, explain it, and talk about it.
3. Bonding and active communication
Communication is an important tool for all ages. It is very important for teens to communicate with their children because they want to hide their stories to their parents. In addition, you should try to get closer to your child and form a bond.
A child who forms bonds with his parents opens his mind. In addition, the child feels a deep sense of security for his / her parents who give themselves up as friends.
4. Respect your child's feelings
A child who recognizes that he or she understands others, including parents, is highly self-controlled. Parents should inform their child that they are sympathetic to their child.
5. Definitive guidance on 'bad' behavior
Instead of blaming and screaming about your child 's mistakes, it' s good to rebuke them in a soft but sure tone. You have to explain why you can not listen to what your child wants. For example, if a child already has a lot of toys and asked to buy another toy, the parent must explain why it is not so easy to understand. This method is helpful when your child is faced with a similar situation.
6. Express your child's emotions and teach them how to not hurt others
Children are also hurt. Generally, children are crying or angry when they experience extreme emotions. At this point, you should express your emotions and empathize with your child's feelings rather than stop them. But it is important to show your emotions and teach them to remain calm and calm.
7. Give your child enough stability
Children can become stubborn or stubborn when they do not feel secure at home. It is important to form an emotional bond through enough dialogue even if you are busy and do not spend much time with your child. Let's make a connection with children, sympathize, and become a friend of a child.
5 ways to grow as a child with self-control
1. Making daily life
You have to do routine housework for your children. It is effective to leave many things to the children so that they can learn various things every day. When children do their jobs, it is also a way to mark them as "accomplished." You can develop self-control as a simple task that raises the responsibility of children.
2. Explain the reason to the children
The best way for children to understand their parents is communication. Rather than cry out "I told you so" or "I am a parent", you should explain why children should not only eat dessert for breakfast, or why children should do their homework. With a simple answer that meets children's curiosity, children can understand the need for homework and why they should not eat too much sugar.
3, give praise and reward
When your child does a good job, you should give praise and rewards. For example, if a child yields to a toy he likes to his brother, or if he cleans his room without asking parents, he should give praise.
If the children are praised for this attitude, they continue the same behavior. In the future, even if there is no compensation, it is recognized as a natural thing.
4. Show proper results
If your child has given you praise and rewards when you have done a good deed, you have to make a punishment when you have done 'bad behavior'. If your children break important rules, you should punish them and explain why.
For example, if a child does not share a toy with his brother, he or she should teach them how to use the toy together for a day or two. If a child apologizes to his brother, he may return the toy.
If you want to play with your brother later, you will share the toy because you do not want to repeat the same mistakes again.
5. Become a role model
Children accept what they see as a sponge. So the best way for children to learn self-control is to learn from their parents. If a child sees a parent breaking a rule they have set up, I think it's okay for them to do that. Therefore, parents must correct their bad habits before they can teach their children an educational lifestyle.
Raising a child's self-control is not as easy as taking a walk around the park. Significant time, enthusiasm, sympathy, fairness, and patience are required. But if you grow up as a child with self-control, you end up paying for it. Because the child grows up as an adult responsible for the future, he or she can become a person who can live his or her life without worrying about the parents.