It is parent mind that wants to give good thing to child. But children often want to get what they want in addition to what they give. In general, it is a product that has a reason to be reluctant to provide by parents, such as defective food, toys, or electronic devices.
Some parents tend to exaggerate their role as a parent by giving too much pampering.
According to Dr. Il Sullivan Clark, a child abstinence behavior specialist, a self-indulgent child who does not meet satisfaction, lacks gratitude and self-control. This is likely to grow into a materialistic adult.
In addition, if parents take care of their children, their children can become incompetent and unresponsive adults.
How to distinguish parents who satisfy their children's pampering
Dr. Clarke and co-author Dr. Connie Dawson have defined parental behavior as an overblown behavior that protects children and does not apply any rules.
The researchers also developed a tool called "Test of Four," which allows parents to judge whether their child is acting negatively.
Before purchasing or acting on something for your child, parents can answer four questions to determine if the behavior is a negative behavioral indicator.
1. Does this behavior hinder the child's growth learning?
2. Does this behavior consume a significant amount of family resources?
3. Is this behavior a behavior for parents or a child?
4. Does it negatively affect other people or society?
"If parents say they are 'right' to this question, they should stop doing what they are doing right now because of the neglected behavior," Clarke said.
Why negative behavior negatively affects child growth
Buying or protecting your child is not a bad thing. However, overprotective or neglectful behavior can hinder the development of the child's behavior.
For example, if children always buy what they want, the children are not satisfied and behavior problems arise. This leads us to grow into greedy and ungrateful adults. Also, if you want to have what you want without any effort, you can not learn the value of labor.
In particular, if parents continue to do things such as cleaning a child's room or doing things like washing dishes or washing, children are likely to grow into incompetent adults.
How can we stop the frustrating behavior?
"Parents should give their children the ability to solve their problems and raise their patience," Dawson advised. "You should not give your child all the demands and give them rules to develop satisfaction."
"We have to teach our children what they need to do," he said. "This includes chores enough for children to do," he added.
Active parenting and supportive parenting
In the meantime, Dr. Breadhoft explains, "Parents should combine two methods: active parenting and supportive parenting, which is the best way to raise children."
In aggressive parenting, parents use a method of raising a condition before a child does something or buys something. Supportive parenting educates children to decide what they really want in the same situation.
For example, if a child wants to buy a toy, parents who use aggressive parenting will be asked to purchase a toy as long as they do not show violent behavior to their children, or if they can purchase the toy directly. Parents who use supportive parenting say that their new toys are a birthday gift to their child and reaffirm that they really want toys.