We always do our best for our children. I believe that I will do my best to keep my child safe and hope that my child can achieve more than I want. However, this causes frequent conflicts between teenage children and their parents. In the case of a child, parents seem to over-protect themselves and present too high standards.
Perhaps overprotection may be like the fate of parents. Each of us has an idea of what success is and we want to judge what is best for our children based on that idea. However, if you go beyond mere surplus protection and insist on paranoia or harmful parenting, you will eventually be separated from your children.
Characteristics of wrong parenting
There are many ways of nurturing. There are no manuals, manuals, books, etc. Everyone has a baby and learns one by one. There is no right answer to parenting, but there is a wrong answer. Certain parenting methods may be harmful. However, as everyone has their own child-rearing authority, it is often the case that they are not aware of the fact that they are raising children in the wrong way.
The Fertile Chick defines misbehavior as "behavior that can lead to certain types of mental, physical, or psychological damage to the child at present and in the future."
'We have kids', a website that specializes in childcare, tells us about wrong parenting. "Many parents use parenting methods that educate their children or fix their habits, negatively impact their children's self-esteem, or even irreversibly damage them. I do not even know that it hurts my own children and I believe that it is for my children. "
Let's check for yourself if you are doing the following: Wrong parenting devastates the child mentally and physically.
1 Compare with siblings, sisters, or other household kids
If you praise another child, brother, or sister, do you think that the child in question will be transformed into a good child that you desire with deep reflection and enlightenment? I'm sorry, but the opposite is happening.
It is wrong to compare your child to another child and this is something you should never do. Every child was born with his own talents and characteristics. If you do not acknowledge the inherent characteristics of your child and ask yourself, 'Why can not you be like others', you think you are a worthless person. It is the parent's responsibility to stop comparisons with other children and to help them to recognize and develop their identities and specialties.
2 Blame the innate ability, personality, and character
There are parents who believe too strongly that sometimes the blood can not be deceived, and that the child will grow up to be the same adult. Obviously, a child receives the genes of his parents, but he can develop his own habits and traits. Parents criticizing innate tendencies or traits are in fact destroying the child's self-esteem and spiritual roots. A child who has been criticized for his own identity feels not only low self-esteem but also a person who is not worthy of himself and can not be recognized.
3 Forcing compliance
Not many parents believe that their children must comply and follow their words unconditionally. They believe that their words and actions are all for the safety and well-being of their children, and they try to control and control every detail of their lives. It is also difficult to develop decision-making skills because the child does not allow the opportunity to try something independently.
Parents who compel them to comply will try to control their children 's every move. For example, what clothes should be worn and how much should be kept. The child will have to undergo considerable pressure, and fatigue will accumulate. In the end, there may be a scarcity that can hardly be reversed between parents and children. For example, forcing a child to pursue a more realistic career path despite abandoning his natural talent is an example of a compulsive parent.
4 Keep pointing out mistakes
A mistake is a part of life. No one does not make mistakes in the world, and can not reverse the mistakes that have already been made. All we can do is learn something from the mistakes we have already made. Parents who do not know this expect their child to be perfect in everything. A mistake is a fatal flaw and those who think it is an unacceptable sin force them to a high standard impossible.
Children raised by these parents are not willing to take any risks. A child who is afraid of a mistake has a tendency not to go out one step further from what he knows and what he is familiar with. There is also a high likelihood that bullying will be subject to harassment due to the passive tendency.
5 Crushing your child's dreams, goals and aspirations as impossible
The most bitter experience of living is probably being rejected. But what if the person who rejected me is a parent who is not anyone else? Here are the reasons why parents who break their dreams are harmful. They simply break dreams because they are "unrealistic" or "overly high goals." In the end, your child will not be able to think about challenging anything other than safe and normal things that are not very satisfactory or self-desirable.
6 Try to live your child's life instead, or plan your career instead
There is a parent who likes to intervene in every child's life. It is the parent mind that wishes the child to be good, but it is difficult to intervene in everything with the force to live the life of the child instead. These parents think that if they plan ahead, they will live safe and well. It is said that such behavior helps children. From birth to marriage and workplace selection, I think parental opinions are always more important than children in the whole process of life.
7 Cutting off competencies and intelligence based on achievement
Parents who judge competence or intelligence by school grades are like children after all, saying 'you are below average' or 'you are a stupid child'. For these parents, the score other than the one is meaningless. When this kind of parenting continues, the child loses interest in studying and thinks 'I am really stupid'. In fact, not at all.
8 Sticking to the child's negative characteristics
I want a perfect, submissive, perfect child in every way. I think that if there is a part that deviates even a little from the expectation of oneself, it is a part to fix and change. It is trying to conceive the child according to the frame which it wants. The child is inevitably lacking in self-confidence, and becomes more conscious of others about appearance and occupation.
9 Compliments
I just like to praise and criticize. They do not know that children grow up to praise, the more they give praise, the more their children will be alive and confident.
10 Forcing blind obedience
Parents who have miscarried children like obedient children. They think that parents' words are absolute. According to Weebiks, these parents have a strong tendency to regard their children as possessions, and therefore think they can command, manipulate, and program as they wish. The child firmly believes that he should obey his parents no matter what. I like a child who can change to his / her taste, and I feel a threat to my child who does not meet his / her parents' standards because of his or her own initiative. A child raised under these parents lacks self-confidence, is negative, and is passive. It is natural to feel helpless.
All parents strive to make their children happy. And always try to give your child the best. Unfortunately, no matter how good the intention is, if the method is wrong, it leaves deep and sore scratches on the child.
A child is the happiest when he grows up to be a child. You must learn and experience the world as you grow. It is the role of the parents to be able to grow into independent adults, to guide them in solving problems in the event of a problem, and to give them the confidence that their parents will always be on their side when necessary. Families should be refugees when they have a hard time coming back.
