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[Parenting] Boundaries between parents and friends

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Anyone who is a parent wants to build a lot of sympathy with their children. Parents want to discuss and share their concerns with their children and their friends. Many parents also want to be friends with their children. Recently, there are many words such as a parent, such as a friend, and it is often found in overseas cases that there is a question about what kind of problems the friendship between the child and the parent relationship will be. According to Meredith Hale, the author of the book, How to Become a Mom, her friends told her that she considered herself as a friend and treated herself as the same eight-year-old girl. "My daughter's friends ran and threw food at me," Hale said. Then, one of his friends asked Hale to eat the food already on the ground. Hale told her daughter friend to put the food in place, but her statement is that she threw more pieces of food to Hale. In Hale 's writing, her childhood mother did not become a friend, so she had a lonely childhood and decided to make her child a friend - like mother. However, I can not help but wonder if her education law is right. My friends and daughters, like my mom and friends, are eager to work at school and become more sociable. It was also found to be more effective in forming a consensus with the family. However, raising a child like a friend is not always positive. Hale noted that children educated in this way lacked respect for their parents and other adults.
▲ Photo Source: Pixar Bay

In addition, many experts pointed out that it is a double-edged sword about friendship education law with children. Famous writer Jennifer Wolf has suggested in the Chicago newspaper that children can get their parents close without losing their respect. 1. Parents sometimes have to be an authority rather than a friend. Parents should be at the same level of development as parents and children if they are emotional as a child's friends. Therefore, we should often play a role as an authority. "It is very important that the children in the house should remember that parents have authority as adults." She added, "It's good to write rules in the house, and if your child does not listen to what your parents say, you have to be careful." Of course you should not make decisions without considering your child's feelings. 2. When parents and children are equal, disciplining their children is difficult. Children usually enjoy being with their friends because it is an equal relationship. The story of a parent being a friend means that the relationship between parents and children is on an equal line. However, if you are on an equal line, if you tell your parents to do something, or if you are trying to fix the wrong behavior, then the child will recognize the parent as a bad friend. Therefore, proper dignity is necessary.
▲ Photo Source: Wikimedia

3. Your child needs a challenge, hope, or other relationship to share your dreams. Your child explores the world with many friends. Wolf agrees, "Parents can raise and maintain healthy friendships with their children and promote the growth of their children's life." However, Wolf says, "When children meet naturally with others and create opportunities for their future It is also important. " Parents should create a place for parents and children as well as opportunities to feel friendships with their parents by having them meet with other people of similar age with their parents. 4. Parents should treat adults as adults rather than treat them as children to continue to support them. As your child grows up, you will have many friends and secrets with them. Just as a child can not know everything about her parents, she can not even know everything about her children. It is necessary to give autonomy to a lot of things to worry about the trouble of protecting and securing the secret of the child. 5. Your child needs to learn through his life experiences and mistakes. Parents have learned so much as they grow older that their children do not want to repeat their mistakes. Therefore, most parents force their children to do so, but they must experience their own lessons learned from their own mistakes. Since it is not always good for a child to lead the way, you must give yourself time to explore your own life so that your child can make his way. Wolf advised parents to focus on communicating smoothly instead of trying to be their best friend.

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