Divorce can turn into a mud from the beginning. Especially when the end of the marital relationship ends in an unpleasant way. After the divorce, the problem of parenting continues. A grueling relationship with an ex-wife or ex-husband can also affect children. It is said that many couples are referring to children at the crossroads of divorce. However, if you decide to divorce, joint custody is a matter of concern.
Importance of co-parenting
Raising children after divorce is not easy. Some say that the child follows one of the parents and eventually takes care of the child. However, joint custody of children is also very important for the development of children. According to an article in Psychology magazine Psychologie Everywhere, joint custody can help make your child successful and mentally happy. It also plays a significant role in establishing close relationships with parents with safety and safety.
The idea that couples live together for their children may also harm children's happiness. Marcy Cole, a psychologist in Los Angeles, California, pointed out that the child's emotional range can not develop if the parents are in constant conflict or in a separate environment.
Divorce is the last way a couple can choose. But this choice does not mean you have to disregard your children. The couple must compromise jointly. Especially when children treat others, parents tend to follow the way they treat each other. This is why joint nurturing is very important.
Even if parents and children can not live together under one roof, parents and children can maintain good relationships through joint nurturing. In fact, if mothers and dads raise their children together, they can live a more balanced and happy life.
Problems of co-parenting
As I mentioned earlier, joint custody is an easy problem. It is because married couples in the process of divorce continue to collide and it is hard to see consensus. However, even if the romantic relationship is already over, the couple should try to resolve the conflicts for their children.
Whatever the marital status is, the most common problem between husband and wife is the lack of communication and disagreement. However, divorced couples should not go into a competitive landscape because of this. Instead, you should focus on "cooperative relationships, focusing on the lives of happy and healthy children," as in the article on Hour Family Wizard.com.
Sometimes it can be difficult to deal with emotions that may arise during divorce or separation. However, this can have a negative impact on joint care. A couple in the divorce process may talk to their child about the other. Psychotherapist Gary Neuman said, "Parents are always part of their children. If a child hears that parents are gossiping or scolding each other, they can become internalized and feel bad about themselves. And if you ask your child not to contact either parent, they will be hurt and confused for a long time. "
Advice for better co-parenting
Co-parenting is a difficult issue, but there are several easy and effective ways for both divorced couples and children. The contents are as follows.
1. Take time for yourself. Divorce is a very stressful event. It is important to have time for yourself to cope with sorrow by divorce. Through this time, it is possible to receive feelings of acceptance and renewal of divorce.
2. Establish a joint parenting plan. This requires a great deal of attention. In order to be effective for your family, you should plan as much as you can, including planning your visit and finances. Children need to know about this problem, so they do not feel confused about their current home situation. Divorced couples are also encouraged to set limits on personal space.
3. Give your child the assurance that everything will work out. It is good for the child to recognize that their divorce is not due to the children's fault, and to believe that no matter what happens, parents are together for their children. Also, it is good to say something like 'Mom and Dad are for you' and 'We always love you'.
4. You must determine the words that define the relationship. Dr. Cole explained that the truth of divorced couples, that is, what they want to set an example for their child. Divorced couples, for example, should be able to choose to say, "Forgive, respect and appreciate each other," and to say that they will commit themselves as a team for their children.