The ability to feel and express emotions as important as the ability to learn about knowledge is important. However, not all children use it proficiently from birth. So what do you need to develop your child's emotional power? Let's look at 'emotional coaching', which is emerging as a way to educate children about their emotions.
Psychologist Dr. Gutman is famous for his work on parent-child interaction. He found that there are usually parents who provide guidance to their children about emotions and parents who do not. Parents with these guidelines intervene in their child's feelings in a positive way called 'emotional coaching'.
According to Dr. Gutman's research, emotional coaching is a childcare style, a step that helps valuing and responding to children's emotions such as sadness and happiness. This is a worthwhile technology that will last a lifetime. Children with parents who use emotional coaching learn their feelings in a healthy way. This results in better grades in school, less pain, and stronger friendships with others.
The basic steps of emotion coaching are as follows.
Step 1: Recognize your child's emotions - Recognizing your child's emotions means that your parents recognize your child's feelings and experiences. Children can see if their parents are responding. You should listen to what your child feels. Parents have developed the ability to make a baby feel love and safety. Parents pay attention when the baby is hungry, needs change, wants to embrace, or is tired. Parents need to apply emotional awareness skills as the baby grows as they are interested in when they need attention, comfort, or confidence. Knowing your child's weaknesses and strengths can make your child's feelings easier to recognize.
Step 2: Listen and communicate - Encourage your child to talk about emotions. However, it is important to make them feel that they are interested in what they say when they speak. Sometimes parents need to be interested in their children's interests. If your child likes video games, it is a good idea to play games together. Leveling means that the parents fit into the tone of the child. However, if the child is already crying, it can be difficult to say. It is better to accept your child's feelings first and create a place where your child feels safe. After all, everyone needs to cry from time to time. The words "I am here, you are safe" are more helpful.
Step 3: Assess your feelings - It is very important to empathize with what your child feels before evaluating your child's feelings. Understand your child and communicate properly. Parents should try to take their child's feelings seriously, not too personally, because they try to understand the child from their own perspective. For example, if your child says, "I hate my mother," it's just a child's tangled emotions and it's about the growth of the brain. Remember that parents can calm down and have a child always happy or angry. Have your child evaluate their feelings when they feel unwell because of problems at school. Parents can say, "You look very frustrated. What kind of feeling do you feel? "And try to have a more intimate relationship with your child.
Step 4: Share your emotions properly with your child - Your children will learn how to respond to their emotions by looking at their parents. Make time and place for conversation and talk every day. For example, at bedtime, parents sit with their children and say, "I'm feeling ________ today." Ask your child how he feels.
Step 5: Encourage your child to think through possible solutions - When your child has made a mistake, explain why this behavior is inappropriate. This is also a good way to encourage emotional expression. However, you must limit your child's behavior. Parents should play a role in guiding their children and helping them think about solutions to their problems. No lectures should be given. Parents' helping their children develop very important life skills is teaching their children to complete the response mechanisms and resilience.
Children have the innate ability to grow into adults who can do anything. You should help your child become a person who can respond intelligently to the dilemma of life. Even if your child is emotional, it will be age-appropriate and calm as you grow. Do not ignore your child's feelings, but consider them to be insignificant. As parents, there are always things that will make your child happy and successful, regardless of your child's IQ.
Remember that every child is special. Parents should use them as an opportunity to heal, grow, and connect with their child's feelings and help them grow up to be loving, kind, and expressive of love.