Although fertility rates are on the decline, parents still want to raise and raise as many children as possible if financial conditions permit. This is because it implies both the importance of the bonds between the brothers and sisters and the necessity of the family. When we look at the happiness of the children, we judge that the parents are worth the effort and sacrifice.
But we should also know that the relationship between brothers and sisters is not always good. Sometimes there can be struggles, jealousy, and competition between siblings who grow up and have little age difference. This is a very natural phenomenon and should be said to be a phenomenon often seen in homes with two or more children. However, this competition usually has to be weighed shortly after the birth of the second child, that is to say, the children can be kept on starting from their childhood. This can be stressful for parents.
Let's look at a positive way to deal with such a sibling rivalry.
Cause of competition between brothers and sisters
When children try to define who they are, they discover their talents, activities, and interests, and want them to show that they are distinct from their brothers. Usually the competition between brothers and sisters occurs when children feel that their parents' interests are unequal. And the feeling that parents' interest disappears as a younger brother is born.
Some of the child's developmental stages also affect maturity, and at some age children try to get along with their brothers and sisters while trying to get their parents' affection and attention. In addition to promoting the interest of parents by showing that they have talents, personality, activities, and interests that they think are better. Older children can also fight with other brethren because they are tired, hungry, or bored.
Some children do not know how to do the right thing and fight, or children who do not know the fun and joyful activity also choose this negative way. Sometimes the parental treatment of this child may be different from other siblings if a particular child acts to remind past or other persons that it was particularly difficult for the parent.
Children 's fighting occurs more often in an environment where parents consider it normal to fight sibling competition. In addition, if the family rarely has a good time together regularly, the possibility of suffering a conflict becomes greater. However, sibling rivalry creates stress and further aggravates conflict by reducing the ability of the child to tolerate despair and frustration.
Competing solutions for brothers and sisters
Here are some tips on how parents can deal with this happening when fights, conflicts, or competition occur between brothers and sisters.
1. Do not compare
Comparing and evaluating children with each other is a factor that causes more competition and frustration among children.
2. Identify the cause of the conflict
In the process of finding the reason for the conflict of the children, you should maintain absolute composure and patience. Instead, you should try to understand where the children's competitiveness comes from. Even if the conflicts of the children seem annoying and annoying, do not let their feelings go away.
3. Ask yourself to solve problems
Children's conflicts should be solved by the parties themselves. Even when mediation is required, the parent should lead the children to learn how to solve the problem by attempting to compromise.
4. Prepare for your younger brother
If your brother is about to be born soon, you should teach your child to be acquainted from the time the baby is in the stomach. It is also good to read a book that will make your brother who is born to look forward, or to show your joy and excitement about having a brother.
5. Prevention of jealousy for my brother
The first should take into account the importance of the first born and the feelings of the first born so as not to feel jealous or angry with the second born. When a child is born, it is good to participate in the first baby watching and take care of it together.
6. Create a basic rule
As a parent, it is also a good idea to state exactly what your children expect from their siblings to act, and to create rules for them.
7. Emphasize family values
Family members are just one team, and there are also ways to teach teamwork and team spirit. It is a good example for your child to show yourself as an example that family members should act toward each other.
8. Do not fly
You should be able to listen and understand each child's story. Also, do not criticize anyone in the process of competition or fighting. This can increase feelings of tension and anger between children.
9. Do not give responsibility
The first one should not give the child a sense of responsibility to take care of his / her brother, or vice versa.
10. Do not share important things
It is important to teach that it is better for a child to keep a certain thing than to share it with a child. However, the value of the commonly recognized sharing or sharing should of course be taught.
11. Develop emotional intelligence
Children should be able to help them understand their feelings. This can lead to a better understanding of the unkind reasons for each other's brothers and sisters.
12. Do not fight
If they are spread by physical battles, the children should be calm and separated. It is good to be calm enough to avoid further controversy between your children and to calm your mind first.
13. Brother and sister life
Brother and sister relationships should be kept forever. Whatever their feelings, they should be able to remind them to learn to accept and love each other. Apart from the feeling of competition, it is important to teach them to respect each other, to be friendly and to have love.