Parental divorce for young children is a shocking event in life. This causes many parts of life to change, such as the need to choose who to live with. In addition, children who have experienced parental separation or divorce are in fear of being abandoned.
Especially, the younger the child, the more difficult it is to endure because the parents do not understand the cause of separation, and it is difficult for adults to cope with it.
In particular, if the parent does not properly explain the separation to the child, the child will remain in an uneasy emotional state. This can lead to aggressive and uncooperative behavior, and can result in eating habits, sleep, and academic problems.
In other words, children want to hear specific situation explanation and can express it as rebellious action. Parents should explain why they are separated and make sure they are not responsible for children. At this time, the couple should not blame each other.
Spend time with your children
Joint custody is a common occurrence among divorced couples. Parents are all equally responsible for parenting. Married couples are divorced, but they should maintain a stable relationship with their parents through joint parenting.
Joan Kelly, Ph.D., a psychology professor, said, "Divorced children have a positive relationship with their parents, so they have room to improve their psychological and behavioral control and improve their academic performance."
Communication and communication between divorced couples play an important role in the child's transition from childhood to adulthood. Divorced couples, therefore, must attend all of their child's major events, such as graduation ceremonies and weddings, but they also need to make certain restrictions so that children do not have the wrong hope of reuniting their parents.
Divorced couples should set up some appropriate strategies so that their children can cooperate in parenting time. For example, it is necessary to adjust various schedules such as the kindergarten and the House of Representatives.
Virginia Gilbert writes, "Co-care is an acknowledgment of the rights of divorced couples to support each other and create a good relationship with their children." Parents must set the necessary rules, such as refraining from blaming the other parent "He said.
Therefore, divorced couples should understand children's different characteristics. Through these exercises, you can teach children how to appreciate the benefits of everyone.
It is also necessary to establish the scope of the two people and agree on their role with extended family members.
Because some divorced couples end their relationship with each other leaving hostile feelings, experts in this case recommend parallel care.
Edward Crook defines a parenting method in which divorced couples in situations where they can not communicate in a manner that respects each other in a limited manner, rather than involving one another.
There are several guidelines for parallel care that divorced couples should follow.
First, all communication should be conducted in a clerical manner, and only information related to the happiness of children should be communicated. Parents should never use children as a means of communication. If the schedule is changed, it can be forwarded to a written notice and there is no need to share personal information with each other. Schedule can be shared in writing or calendar.
Divorced couples need to focus on their children and maintain a courteous relationship with each other to achieve successful joint and nurturing. An important factor in this parenting strategy is that children are aware that parents are committed to their happiness. Therefore, if problems arise with each other's parenting methods, you should avoid dialogue and use your child as a means.
If you use your child as a means, you only have a broken heart for your children, and the relationship between the two parties can get worse.
On the other hand, if the children are successfully raised, they can feel a sense of security and grow up with a healthy perspective in a psychologically stable state.