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[Parenting] How do I wake up my child’s ‘inner critic’?

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All human beings are supposed to be whipping themselves in themselves. This is called an inner critic, and most of these inner critics are unfriendly and strict as they go through negative self-talk. Being negative to yourself and criticizing yourself for being completely perfect or not good enough to make you mistake it all as a stepping stone to growth.

These negative self-talk and inner criticism exist in young children. And criticize and criticize children on the way they behave or learn. This makes it possible to highlight defects and defects, and not even know about other positive ones. In conclusion, the child is exposed too much to these inner critics, and the efforts to retry due to fear of failure or rejection also cease.

In addition, it can lead to adverse effects in livelihood by losing confidence in despairing self-doubt, low self-esteem, and ability. This is a factor that interferes with the success and happiness of the child and can lead to mental health problems if serious.

Of course there are advantages too. It serves as a positive coach and makes it better for future choices and actions. However, in order to be able to work in such a positive way, it is important for parents to remind their children that they are aware of the existence of internal critics and that they are not related to thoughts and facts.

Here are some suggestions for parents to help their child with an internal critic:

1. Remind me about inner critics

Dr. Dan Siegle and Tina Payne Brisson, who wrote the book on children's brains, described the human brain as a house divided upstairs and downstairs. According to them, the inner critic exists on the brain stem, forming a flexible and empathic form in thinkers, problem solvers, planners, emotional adjusters and neocortex. And sometimes it starts by giving a small voice about important personal experiences. However, the more you hear and accept these things, the bigger your voice becomes, and eventually the child loses and destroys all his hopes and feels that he is useless.

Parents should be able to remind the child that there is a big difference between their own critics and their own voices. It should be able to provide ideas for how to filter out words and behaviors of internal critics and how to be noticed when an internal critic operates. And when it is determined that the child has finally recognized this difference, it is good to ask how the inner critic influences the child.

2. Encourage your child to answer

It is also a good idea to teach your child to answer the inner critic who is heard in his head whenever he or she is struggling on their own. And to develop the mantra using assertive words that can raise self-awareness. Mantra, developed with a certain word, is able to get more effect by inspiring self-awareness regardless of the sound heard by the child. It is important to teach the inner critic to stop the thought right away if it is just before the voice, or to teach them to stop nerves immediately if unnecessary voices are already heard.

3. Create a positive and supportive environment

It is also desirable to create a safe space where your child can freely express negative self-confidence. If a child starts to speak negative about himself, he or she should be able to help the child to lead it positively, but be careful not to feel that the child is neglected at this time. In other words, it is important to pay special attention when talking to your child and to help them express their thoughts in an open, non-closed environment.

Listening and encouraging the child's words in a very compassionate and generous attitude. The key is to balance the balance. You must actively participate in decision-making that affects your child's life and confidence in your choice, leading to a positive and supportive environment. As a child grows up, it can also have a big impact on the role of family members, which gives them confidence in their strength and ability.

4. Teaching to embrace perfection

In order to be able to cope with the constant criticism heard from within, we must teach our children to embrace flaws and incompleteness. If you do not let your child focus on things you can not do well and instead make them love well and do what they love, your child can do better and increase their confidence. You should be careful and careful about even the smallest and the smallest of things without complimenting what your child did well.

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