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[Parenting] Couple fighting, why you should not do it in front of your child

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There is no perfect family. Even if you get along well, you may have frequent controversies with minor misunderstandings, or you may have conflicts for other reasons. But even in this situation, if there is bond and love, the family can grow beyond the strife.

But there is one thing we should refrain from. You should not show parental conflict in front of your child. Exposing your anger in front of your child can have a profound impact on your child's emotions.

Problems of couples fighting

It is good to know that once a family is frequently fighting a couple, it is very harmful to their children. Children are not mature enough to see and understand their aggressive tendencies and anger. Of course, there is no quarrel between couples, but it is desirable to solve it more wisely.

According to E. Mark Cummings, a psychologist at Notre Dame University, conflict is an extremely normal part of everyday experience, and the couple fighting is not a problem, but how important it is to the child "He said. Patrick Davis, co-author of Cummings and research, pointed out through his research that destructive tactics, especially insults or threatening verbal aggression, could negatively affect the child. Physical aggression to push or hit the opponent, and silent behavior such as throwing away or avoiding.

If parents continue to fight in this type of way, they can see it and live with worry, anxiety, or despair. This can lead to health problems such as sleep disorders, headaches, gastroenteritis, and difficulty concentrating on classes at school.

There are also studies that show the impact of a six-month-old infant's parental fighting. UCLA's Lana Gepetti, Celly Taylor and Theresa Shiman investigated about 47 studies in 2002 and found that children's negative experiences can cause problems in adulthood. They have always been growing up under fighting parents, and have experienced physical, social, and emotional problems. Depression, emotional reactions, substance dependence, and loneliness.

The detailed negative impacts of the children who are raised by the parents who have frequent couples fighting are as follows.

1. Decrease in cognitive ability: According to a study in 2013, stress from couples' fighting has also been shown to affect children's cognitive abilities. Attention and emotion control is difficult, and problem solving and decision making abilities are also impaired.

2. Increased interpersonal problems: Familiarity with parental conflicts has made it difficult to build and maintain healthy relationships. Trusting others around them can be difficult.

3. Behavioral problems: Aggressive behavior and aggressive behavioral problems also increased. There is a high likelihood of not being able to adapt to school life, and social problems can also be experienced.

4. Negative Perspectives on Life: In the 2012 study, children exposed to parental conflict were more likely to grow with negative perceptions about their families. Self-esteem was also low.

5. Increased adolescent substance abuse: Adolescents were more likely to be exposed to substance abuse such as smoking, binge drinking, drinking, and marijuana.

Parent's solution

As mentioned above, marital conflict affects not only the relationship but also the happiness of children. Failure to see a parent affecting a child directly by the eye does not mean that it does not have a negative impact. Most kids just watch quietly fighting. And as long as these exposures persist, happiness disappears. Here are a few things parents can do.

1. Debate on the controversy: It is not necessary to tell the details, but you should talk about the reason why the minimum fight has occurred. This helps children understand the causes of the fight and think as reasonably as possible.

2. Recognizing that it is not just a matter of dispute: It is important to make sure that there is a conflict or conflict, but that the family still loves each other. Sometimes it is desirable to explain that there are things in the family that can not be controlled or that they have to solve challenging tasks.

3. Reaffirming a Bonded Family Relationship: Children may be afraid of a family relationship if they see the parent's dispute. Parents should understand the nature of the problem and make sure that they can understand each other more effectively and become strong families.

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