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[Parenting] The vicious cycle of ‘harmful masculinity’, gender equality education at home is essential

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"Man has to do it", "Boys can do it."

Many of our contemporaries still believe that men are stronger and wiser than women. When did the prejudice that a man should lead a family in a steadfast and trustworthy way, and a woman to wait for a man in a passive and obedient manner? In fact, this belief is very harmful to men as well as women and children.

What is harmful masculinity?

As many children grow up, they learn the social role of society unconsciously. Our society forces boys to be tender, trustworthy and feminine to girls, and strong, trustworthy and tough to boys. Parents, schools, and media also inject these sexual roles from when children are very young. The personality characteristic that has nothing to do with the gender is the attitude which is limited to the specific gender only.

William Pollock explains the concept of 'boy code' in his book 'The Real Face of Boys' in 1998. In our society, a child must be independent and cool to be recognized as a 'real man'. In addition, they are trying to dominate others, be fleshy, and exercise well. If there is no such character, identity and masculinity should be suspected. The Atlantic calls these cultural codes "harmful masculinity". He also cited an article in ParentMap and criticized the harmful masculinity as "an extremely fragmentary aspect of masculinity, focusing only on domination and control." Our society teaches that boys should always be competitive and should not be frank and weak. For those boys who do not, they put shame on me, making them feel numbness, resentment, and hatred.

This harmful masculinity is also related to violence. When events such as firearms or mass destruction occur, we tend to overlook one fact: the perpetrators of these crimes are men as well. "The harmful masculinity will not be a big problem if you end up being bragging and mutilating when you are just a man," writer Amanda Maekot said in an interview. "But the damage caused by harmful masculinity does not stop there . The pressure to prove his manhood, his compulsion to take all of his "bitchlike" appearances, leads to the murder of the men. "

Children who inherit harmful masculinity from childhood

Among the parents, there are those who force this masculinity from a very young age when they are not aware of it. Of course, young children have no ability to filter out ideas that are injected into themselves. What a child cares about is all about how it can be accepted into peer groups and how you can get along with others. The problem is that the whole society accepts harmful masculinity as a natural social norm, and they all inject harmful masculinity into their children from very simple actions. It is not so old that he only bought robots and car toys for his son, and dolls and house play sets for his daughters. He also teaches his son to act courageously and courageously in front of others. That means that you can be recognized as a 'real man'. The Independent explained the following about harmful masculinity:

1. 'Harmful masculinity' is not a critique of men. Men are men before men, and no one is born with a 'harmful' orientation from the beginning. Weak expectations and norms in our society are harmful.

2. Men are the biggest victims of harmful masculinity. It is easy to criticize individual males seeking harmful masculinity. But in fact, men are only accepting and submitting to the sex role that society imposes. Because violating these norms is not only terrible, but also because of the cost of violations. For this reason, a considerable number of men try very hard to prove and maintain their masculinity.

3. Harmful masculinity harms others. It is true that the first victim of harmful masculinity is men, but that does not mean that only men are victims. Unhealthy masculinity creates victims, regardless of gender. To prove masculinity, many men act aggressively, sexualize women, criticize and persecute sexual minorities.

CNN reported that harmful males had a negative effect on children. Forcing a young child to play a specific role in the gender will lead to a lifetime of exposure to various mental and physical problems.

Gender equality education at home, how should it be done?

As parents, we need to repeat the concept and importance of gender equality to children. By doing so, we must cut off the vicious circle of harmful masculinity from the home. Prima said the following strategies could help with gender equality education at home.

1. Use sex-neutral objects. It does not limit the clothes, the playing toys, etc. to specific gender, but allows the child to freely explore what he or she wants.

2. Modify your child's behavior when acting according to a fixed sex role. Children who have been injected with sex since childhood are also sexually discriminatory, prejudiced, and prejudiced. In this case, the parents should correct the wrong vision and, if possible, set an equal relationship between the couple and set an example.

3. Explicitly explain the limitations of past sexual ideas. In the process of growing up, children are exposed to old-fashioned sex roles and prejudices through movies, books and TV. At this time, it is necessary for parents to intervene to make it clear that it is a way of thinking of old people, and outdated thinking.

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