It is good for parents to have a willing child who is always willing to do their best and accomplish something. However, it is dangerous because it can be developed into a perfectionist attitude that cuts itself off.
In today's competitive world, we reveal what parents should know about children with perfectionism.
Thomas Curran, an assistant professor at Bath University in England and Andrew Hill, an associate professor at St. John's University in York, called perfectionism "an irrational desire for perfection combined with harsh self-criticism." Perfectionists also pointed out that, unlike those who work diligently hard, they devote themselves to correcting their flaws.
Indeed, today's modern society is rapidly growing and changing, assessing young people's abilities in a variety of new ways that have not existed before. The ability to be judged and ranked on various tests and other criteria. Moreover, in capitalist societies, if you do not get a good score in this ranking, you are likely to be valued as a less valuable person.
Curran and Hill have studied how young people's perfectionism has risen dramatically since 1989, when perfectionism finds its self-esteem in a market-based neoliberal society and communicates with others and feels safe Symptoms.
Moreover, the present society makes young people more excited by idealizing perfection. This is evidenced by how companies promote their products and services, which are amplified by social media. For example, users show social media the perfect version of themselves and their lifestyle and share with others. As a result, young people become more anxious and obsessed with how they should look and behave.
Professors have warned that such a great pressure can lead to perfectionism and ultimately lead to mental disorders such as depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation. It also makes you feel unworthy when you fail or make mistakes, causing psychological confusion.
|Source: Pixar Bay|
Today, as with young people, even young children cling to perfectionism. From this young age, there is a tendency toward perfectionism, and educator Leah Davies warned that it can be affected by a variety of behavioral functions. For example, they set high standards, enjoy challenges, or do not tolerate mistakes because they are not satisfied with their efforts because of unrealistic goals.
Davis explained that the combination of natural temperament and environmental factors can drive children to perfectionism. Here, environmental factors include the needs of parents and teachers, and observing the perfect behavior of adults around them. Also, children's extreme perfectionism can lead to anxiety, depression, eating disorders and suicide as adults do.
He also explained that extreme perfectionism-seeking children are abnormally high expectations, self-conscious, and self-critical. Self-esteem is often lowered, and anxiety about mistakes is felt, but it becomes very sensitive to criticism. It also criticizes the other party and shows a tendency to be introspective in the society. It also shows a tendency to avoid postponing work or stressful situations or difficult things. It can also lead to headaches or other physical illnesses if you are not able to make a good decision or even if you are judged to fall short of yourself or others' expectations.
In particular, children with excellent talent tend to be perfectionists, and if they feel fearful of incomplete results, they may not be able to finish their work properly and produce sluggish results.
|Source: Pixar Bay|
Perfectionist child care
Perfectionists tend to risk or end their work, so there is not enough room to feel pleasure or joy, and the range of their lives becomes narrower. If children are obsessed with perfectionism or are inclined to do so, careful management should be put in place to have a positive impact.
It is quite helpful first of all to make sure that your child is challenging just for fun in sports that are not good for them. Clinical psychologist Simon Sherry explained that helping their children to accept failures teaches them the possibility of "still living a good life," even if the results are not good.
It is also good to show children that their parents take risks and tolerate mistakes. This can make children understand that they are okay with laughing over incomplete results.
Child and family therapist Michele Kambolis advised children to set reasonable standards so that they can focus more on the work than on accomplishment.
It is also a good idea to encourage them to break down each and every one thing at a time and to feel that there are not too many tasks to do. It is recommended that you have a rest period that does nothing to reduce anxiety.
Cambolis also emphasized that parents should remain calm even if their children are nervous or responsive due to mistakes. It is absolutely necessary for parents' understanding and patience, because perfectionism is a crucial moment when children are dominating the moment. When the children are calm, the parents can help them eliminate the anxiety of their children. It is also good to let the children learn the moment. This can lessen anxiety about what will happen next, and it helps to reduce anxiety if you focus on other things your child can see, hear, taste, and feel.
However, if your child has physical symptoms such as headache, abdominal pain, difficulty sleeping, or having trouble with school life, it is effective to get help from an expert. You should be able to explain to your doctor or pediatrician how your child's behavior and how these behaviors affect you. Ultimately, perfectionism requires that children learn that they are tolerant of mistakes and can still live a pleasant life.