When children are always innocent, the children who listen well to their parents speak to their teens and act unseen. Parents are trying to understand it somehow, but it does not work. It's not just about understanding your child's behavior with your head, but your parent's words and vocabulary, tone of voice, body language, and so on, can be a very sensitive element to a child who has reached puberty.
However, it is important to send this period well anyway. From the moment when it is judged that sympathy and comprehension do not lead to dialogue, the child no longer talks to his parents. Teenage children who do not speak with their parents, how should we approach them?
You have no one to talk to?
According to Kate Russell, who wrote the book on parenting, teenage children are very passive in conversation with their parents at home. That's because parents do not understand themselves, so there is no one to tell them at home. However, it is more important to communicate smoothly with parents during adolescence than to visit a psychological counseling center for their child's mental health.
Russell spoke to his students about it and found out that the childhood of childhood might have helped to shape the current situation. Perhaps the parent would do what they wanted to do to get the attention and love of their parents and hang on to their academic achievement. Also, parental discipline methods were likely to have affected. For example, punishment, time-out, and compensation for the children in the way of dealing. As parents provide compensation according to their child's achievement, children naturally gain parental love and affection, which ultimately has been a factor in preventing the development of communication between children and their parents.
Improve your relationship with your child
Parents should develop their relationship with respect and respect for their children. Through unconditional love, support, and understanding of the parents, children can gain personality, and in this process, they can live with confidence in many defects. Russell said parents should be able to help their children make mistakes in their mistakes through correct instruction and discipline, not punishment. Janet Landsbury, a childcare teacher, also said that parents should understand that their children are notoriously poor at dealing with frustration on their own. She also explained that she should embrace it if she cries or weeps so that she does not hide her emotional expressions.
If a child is assessing his or her value based on a certain sense of achievement, goal attainment, or correct behavior, there may be a tendency to get parental recognition first even when self-confidence grows.
Russell said teenagers need love and understanding just like a child. If you are not confident in expressing these concerns and concerns at home, you will find a trusted partner other than your parents.
In the end, parents should be able to support themselves on the part of their children when they discover their strengths and weaknesses and challenge their lives and do something. When a child recognizes the love and understanding of their parents, they also find confidence by talking with their parents about their pain or difficulty.
Expert Professor Lawrence Steinberg said teenagers have a logical way of thinking like their parents, and that the mandatory language of "just because parents asked me to do" no longer works. Carol Maxim, an advisor, said teenagers have the ability to detect all the subtle and sensitive lie that their parents have, and point out that parents should really treat them for true communication.
Professor of Psychology at Temple University Laura H. Canel, Steinberg, and Maxim have also published tips for both parents and children to communicate effectively.
First, parents must have a dialogue that allows their children and parents to express their positions and understand others. If you try to respect your teenager's point of view without attacking or ignoring them, you also believe that your parents listen to your words. Parents should also be briefed and briefed as much as possible to encourage their children to speak more. Finally, parents should be able to lead in conversation with confidence.
Experts, however, said teenagers should also be able to understand their parents' views and be able to speak frankly about what they think and feel. It is also important to listen to your parents. Criticizing and ridiculing the parents' viewpoints and perspectives destroys authentic dialogue with their parents.