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| ▲ Baby crying (source = Flickr) |
Parents teach their children that they should apologize if they have done wrong to someone. But what if parents apologize to their children? Most parents feel awkward to apologize to their children. Sometimes it justifies not apologizing. However, this behavior only reduces the child's respect for parents. If parents make mistakes, they should acknowledge and apologize.
Child and child care specialist Laura Markham said the most important thing in any relationship is "I love you, I listen to you, forgive me." This is the same when nurturing. "But unfortunately many parents are awkward to apologize to their children," Markham said. Of course, I understand. If you want to apologize, you must acknowledge the mistake first. So I feel shameful. I also feel like losing authority as a parent in front of my children. "
What your parents will teach you
When parents acknowledge their mistakes and apologize to their children, they learn that any human being can make mistakes and improve them. In other words, a child learns to acknowledge and apologize when he or she damages someone by mirroring their actions. This is very important for forming a relationship.
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| ▲ Mother and daughter holding hands on the beach (Source: Pixar Bay) |
A sincere apple
You should apologize if your parents yell at you, you hurt your child's feelings, or if they destroy the toy or things your child likes. Parents should think of apology as part of their education. A sincere apology in the right way can teach your child how to take responsibility. For example, let's say that parents decided to meet their child to school, but the car is blocked and is late. Then parents should apologize rather than say the car is blocked.
What if parents lose patience?
Lyn Zachary, who worked as a social worker in elementary school, said she has never met a parent who does not yell at her children. Especially when parents are stressed, they are often screaming and angering their children. When this happens, parents say to their child, "I'm sorry this morning. Mom / Dad seem to be stressed, too. " I also have to add that with the apples, it will not happen again.
Making a child look at you from a parent's perspective
Lausanne Leskowski, a student at the Nova South East University Children's Psychiatric Clinic, said that if parents were to apologize to their children, they would have to apologize first and then ask their children for forgiveness. By doing so, the child learns from the perspective of the parents and learns to emotionally understand the situation of the parents.
For example, if your child says, "Mom / Dad's behavior is wrong. Because I was stressed. Then why is my mom / dad under stress? " Then the child has a chance to think in terms of the parents, not just the oneself.
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| ▲ Baby and Father's Hand (Source: Pixar Bay) |
If your child is a teenager
If your child is a teenager, you should use a slightly different approach. Parents who make mistakes in teenagers should first look at their child's feelings. But it does not take too long. Children who are teenagers have a short time to concentrate. I do not particularly care about my parents. If the parents do something wrong with their child, they are angry but do not know how to express their feelings in words.
If you have apologized for the wrong behavior of your teenage child, the parent must wait for your child's response. And it shows that the situation is resolved smoothly.
When you do not have to apologize
Experts say that they do not have to apologize to their children for big changes in their family members, such as parental divorce or the birth of a new baby. It may be hard for your child to accept this situation, but this is because the parents are not doing anything wrong with their children. However, your child will accept the situation and give you time to help him / her feelings. Parental negative feelings are also part of your child's life, so you do not have to apologize for everything, but you should try to encourage your child.
