There are a myriad of things that can hurt your mind while raising a child. Among them, it is indeed an annoyance to hear the words "Mom, Dad hate!" But the fact that you should not accept it at face value.
Mary Wallals, a LCSW (clinical social therapist) and family therapist, said that a child's anger at Cyclo Journal today is "because I love you most." Perhaps your child may be angry at you after fighting with a friend, or angry that you can not play with your favorite toy.
|▲ The child's language ability is insufficient compared to adults (Source = Flickr)|
Limitation of Language Ability
"It is difficult for children to express their emotions or feelings because of their inability to speak spontaneously," Wallace said. So if parents are not allowed to go out and play, they may not know how to make anger. " Whenever they do, they say, "I do not like Mom and Dad."
As children grow and learn to speak, they understand the power of language. At that time, when the parents say, "I hate you," the children feel helpless and think of themselves as unnecessary. And the children say the same to others and identify their "presence".
Friedman Schwab, a writer and anxiety researcher, said in the Reader's Digest that parents should not accept children's words personally.
Instead, the parents said they should try to find out what children really want to say, what they want to express, and what to do in a calm manner. Of course, this solution may vary with age.
Schwab said that a six-year-old child would cry when he wanted to say, "I do not like Mom and Dad." In the meantime, they advised children to approach children more because they push out the people they really need.
If so, what does it mean for a teenager to say, 'I hate my mom and dad'? Perhaps they are willing to say this on purpose, and the message here is more complicated.
Dr. Schwab suggests that when dealing with 13 to 18-year-olds, wait for the situation to calm down and talk. It is good if parents have a walk outside and then start a conversation with their child. Parents should tell that they are not angry and want to know what the problem is. When parents and children are calm, you can have a serious conversation.
Begin by checking your feelings.
The Digital Journal The Jersey Journal said it was the right thing for parents to do and say, "I'm disappointed." And "I'm really angry," confirming and recognizing the child's feelings.
This is because confirming the emotions shows that the parent understands the child. After confirmation, it is a good idea to let your child explain his or her feelings by saying, "What are you angry about?" Or "Tell your mom and dad what's going on."
Wallace says that it is also important to understand and sympathize with the child's feelings and to find out the cause. For example, parents say, "You're angry because you can not go to your friend's house to sleep." Parents should make sure that the child shows emotion in the most positive way possible.