Parents should be able to control their anger and disappointment, but this is not easy. It is also difficult to calm emotions and express them in appropriate words. Especially when children are growing up.
Emotion regulation discipline
Parenting is giving the child the opportunity to grow and be independent. Parents should treat their child with kind and respectful words. When a child makes a mistake, parents tend not to control their feelings and punish themselves with words and actions.
Rather than disciplining only the wrong behavior in a decisive tone, the child may be accused or shouted to act as shame.
If you take actions such as deep breathing or glare, the children will think that they are trivial or bad. Wounds and shameful words can eventually be remained in mind and remembered for many years.
Discipline is important. But discipline is not a punishment. Punishment does not always solve the problem, and instead of blaming or shamming children, it is necessary to look at what the source of the problem is.
Do you have me? Discipline that hurts children
Parents also know that sometimes they rely on shame. The problem is that this behavior can hurt a child. Unconsciously stimulating a child's shame will have a negative long-term impact.
The website 'HealthyWeek.com' presents seven situations in which parents unconsciously disgrace their children.
1. A moment comes when a child wants to become independent, and wants to do everything with his own strength. At this stage, children learn a lot about their abilities and spend a lot of time and effort in building their confidence. But parents unconsciously ignore this situation. She is interfering with clothes and shoes, and the child feels that she is incapacitated by this behavior of the parents.
2. It is the same attitude that makes a child feel uncomfortable to judge a child's choice. First, you must acknowledge your child's choice and explain the possibilities.
3. Parents should sympathize with their children and not teach them not to cry. Understand emotional and comprehension levels.
4. Having unreasonable expectations can also make children uncomfortable.
5. Any publicly offensive action must be stopped. Instead of screaming when your child is spoiled in the public place, you should move to a place with fewer people and explain what went wrong.
6. The voice tone is also important when talking to your child.
7. Children learn and learn new things. Recognizing a child is a way to encourage a child to do better.
Parents have a responsibility to nurture their children and encourage them to grow up properly.
To have a disciplinary effect,
Shame is behavior that does not exist in the parenting method. According to Professor Brin Brown of Houston University, shame is an act of eating a belief that humans can change.
If parents punish and shame their children in the name of discipline, they should stop now. Some parents think that a child can be improved in a shameful way, but they only build walls that isolate the child. Instead, we need to know what's wrong with the conversation.
Parents need to understand the difficulties that children experience during their growth. Children are pure and there is much to learn yet. Penalizing a child does not help improve behavior and habits.
So what can parents do?
Conversation is most important.
We must all understand that we are human beings who can make mistakes. Sometimes we can do something we do not want. Teaching children is not about teaching perfection, but about teaching self-control.
Parents should understand the level of understanding of their child and sympathize with their child's situation. We should talk with respectful heart and kindness. Human weakness must also be acknowledged. Just as parents can sometimes make mistakes, kids can make enough mistakes.